From An Imperfect Mom !

Today morning, As I was checking my what’s app and Facebook, I realised It is Mother’s Day. A few months before, I would have been one, posting a pic of me and my son, and then checking for likes the whole day, waiting for notifications to beep.

 After the facebook and what’s app detox, not only my mobile battery lasts longer, also I have more time to pursue and I am able to keep my mind clutter free from Religion, Government, and Idealised families.

As per me, Once a woman always a mother. I don’t think giving birth to someone makes one a mother. Females have this caring and compassionate attitude right from childhood. I have seen little girls, caring for their younger siblings, as if they are the mothers.

But, Motherhood is a tough job. Right from the time you conceive one, the girl in you stops existing, and everyone from your parents, In-laws, your partner all are concerned only about the welfare of the little being. From morning sickness to sleeplessness in the third trimester,  it all shouts loud and clear that your life ahead is going to be a rollercoaster.

You feel Oh, soon he will be big, and I won’t have to worry about his nappies or feeding schedules, but the truth is each stage comes with its own set of curious problems, unique to each kid and his mum.

When my little one was small, feeding him was a problem, he never was hungry enough. Now, he is big keeping him away from Junk food is a problem.

For many making a child sleep at night is a trouble, for me making him sleep during the day is a trouble.

We Indian parents have another unique problem of scholastic and moral expectations. However, I might try to keep myself aloof and not fall into the typical competitive mom syndrome, Still every few days we both will be in the war zone, with me of opinion that he is not making enough effort in studies. And then, after every such episode, I will realise that I should not really have lost my calm, and I try to convince myself that each child is unique and he will find some aim in his life. Ah, Womania!

Only, yesterday I got in late with a meeting and walked home when it was already his sleeping time. To my absolute horror, he was trying to sleep without packing school bag and having his dinner.  Was totally unresponsible from a Type A personality like me, but for my lazy sweet kid, he just forgot and now when I am looking from his point of view, it wasn’t really such a big fuss!

So, this Mother’s day I decide to just enjoy these sweet moments and not let the typical Competitive Indian mom empower me.

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Though we are mothers 24 X 7 till we die, and we do not need another day to celebrate the unique creatures we are..

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Day He spoke

Speak out

“If i speak what’s in my mind, people will judge me.” So continued his thoughts and she kept silencing himself.

It had been 100 days, he was in and out of the self imposed coma.

“What, if he tells his  parents, they will say it was all his fault! ”

“What, if he tells his friends, they will think, he had been stupid always!”

The thoughts kept popping in his mind and there was no outlet.

Soon, this will end! How long can this ordeal last.Surely, not life long !

That day he decided he would end this. He couldn’t bear  the pain anymore, so he ran, kept running long after the race was over. He ran till he fell in the middle of the playground.

Everyone thought exhaustion.

No one noticed why he had become so withdrawn?

Years passed, soon that pain was forgotten and hushed into the dark corners of memory.

Since last few weeks, he had been noticing a younger student of his withdrawn and lost.

He tried to befriend him and understand what was troubling him. The more he tried, more away he would push him.

Something was wrong somewhere. He felt like he was watching a mirror.

Slowly, he tried to encourage the boy and open up. He realised, like him he was being sexually assaulted by close family friend.

He could not let silence prevail now. This time he had to let the world know. He had to speak out. He encouraged the boy to reveal to the parents who immediately took steps to stop that person from harassing the young boy anymore. Also, they took him to psychologist who helped him deal with the trauma.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender. Sexual abuse in young boys is as common. However, it is much underreported due to the skewed concept of masculinity. Always be open with your kids, and be it boys or girls and let them know the difference between safe and unsafe touch.

Statistics indicate about 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are victim of child sex abuse. (   https://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics )

Comments such as  “Males don’t cry. Males do not acknowledge pain” make it more likely for them to carry on with the suffering unheard”

So spread awareness and Help someone you can.

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Source : pinterest.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dad: I miss you.

Parenting is indeed a tough job. No two kids, nor any parents are alike. Each learns by his/her own mistakes, and hit and trial. My little one is usually a happy go kid who will mix up with everyone and enjoy each moment to hilt. I have this amazing memory in my closet which always reminds that it’s not just a caretaker which a child needs, but the presence of both father and mother for his optimum growth and development.

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Source : Pinterest.com

This was in year 2011. My son was 2 and a half years old. Usually, fathers take an excuse at this age and keep busy that a child won’t notice his absence. But this is not really so. Right from a small age, they get accustomed to the faces around them and miss them when not around.

In March 2011, my husband went for a conference to Brussels, Belgium. It was a 7 days trip and he was due to be back on Sunday evening. Sunday morning, I received a call from my husband that due to bad weather conditions, his flight was cancelled and he was trying for the next available booking.

My son was already curious since last two days and i could sense he was missing him. We had been telling him that he would be back on Sunday, but now this new development was difficult to be explained to a 2 year old.  He was stressed why dad is not around and was chit chatting only about him. ” My dad is my Jaan and I am My Dad’s Jaan.” I can never forget this sentence of his and he repeated this sentence to anyone he saw that day.

By evening, he was restless. I made him sleep early and told him that tomorrow morning when he wakes up, he would find his dad home. That night, he woke up 4 to 5 times. Each time, he would wake up, he would look outside, and since it would be dark outside, he would sleep again.

Finally, he woke up at 5 am in the morning. It was already dawn outside…No more dark that means Morning! ” Where is  Papa? You said he would be home when i wake up in morning!” and he started crying.  Dad’s  flight was not expected another half an hour so i just tried to calm him and cuddle him. He was not ready to drink milk…nothing he just needed his dad. So i tried to call my husband at around 6 am and luckily his flight had landed.  He spoke to him and assured that by the time he finishes his milk, he would be home.

So with the milk cup in hand, we both moved to our balcony. May be by now, even God took pity on this little child and by the time, he finished his milk, we spotted his cab. That smile on his face…I can never forget.

Who says …Kids do not miss their dads!

Mother and father both play an important role in the upbringing of child. Both complement each other and one cannot do without other. Mother is the constant love, care and security a child has. Father is the encouragement to take risk, be confident, move independently and go ahead. Father is the feeling that i will hold you in case you fall.  Mother shows you the way, while father lets you find your own.

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Source : The fresh quotes