The Day He spoke

Speak out

“If i speak what’s in my mind, people will judge me.” So continued his thoughts and she kept silencing himself.

It had been 100 days, he was in and out of the self imposed coma.

“What, if he tells his  parents, they will say it was all his fault! ”

“What, if he tells his friends, they will think, he had been stupid always!”

The thoughts kept popping in his mind and there was no outlet.

Soon, this will end! How long can this ordeal last.Surely, not life long !

That day he decided he would end this. He couldn’t bear  the pain anymore, so he ran, kept running long after the race was over. He ran till he fell in the middle of the playground.

Everyone thought exhaustion.

No one noticed why he had become so withdrawn?

Years passed, soon that pain was forgotten and hushed into the dark corners of memory.

Since last few weeks, he had been noticing a younger student of his withdrawn and lost.

He tried to befriend him and understand what was troubling him. The more he tried, more away he would push him.

Something was wrong somewhere. He felt like he was watching a mirror.

Slowly, he tried to encourage the boy and open up. He realised, like him he was being sexually assaulted by close family friend.

He could not let silence prevail now. This time he had to let the world know. He had to speak out. He encouraged the boy to reveal to the parents who immediately took steps to stop that person from harassing the young boy anymore. Also, they took him to psychologist who helped him deal with the trauma.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of gender. Sexual abuse in young boys is as common. However, it is much underreported due to the skewed concept of masculinity. Always be open with your kids, and be it boys or girls and let them know the difference between safe and unsafe touch.

Statistics indicate about 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are victim of child sex abuse. (   https://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics )

Comments such as  “Males don’t cry. Males do not acknowledge pain” make it more likely for them to carry on with the suffering unheard”

So spread awareness and Help someone you can.

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Source : pinterest.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pleasure is a sin 

Last Friday, I and my 8 year old were having a conversation. He is a big foodie and has been putting on weight. I had always been on heavier side and I am fully aware of the nasty comments, so I don’t want him to end up with a bruised ego, so I constantly encourage him to exercise more, avoid sweets. But while conversing, I just had this idea everything which gives you pleasure is a sin.

Chocolates, sweets, coffee , pizzas, pastas.. infact anything which is yummier, tastier comes in the hit list. According to all the healthy diets we should be just eating boring salads, green tea, infact the awful the taste, on the top goes its nutrition.

This made me thinking what all do I add to the sinful pleasure.

Lazying around , sleeping too much. will be considered sinful .. but other than few workaholic who doesn’t want that.

Give me a choice, I would never work for the 48 hrs long work shift. All I would do is have a novel in hand, invent cooking and travel across the world.

Again, if you go on too many vacations, the older generation gives you a exasperated look as if you are doing the biggest crime in world.

Watching TV/ listening to music all are pounced upon by spiritual and religious heads as useless and sin.

Another pleasure Sex . is a taboo as far as Indian culture is considered. Infact, religious leaders all over the world shun it though it is the very basis of exsistence. ( We are not amoeba, who can just multiply  by binary fission)

The list is endless.

So if you want pleasure, be ready for the sin.

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  Silences and conversations

Speech is silver, silence is gold.

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courtesy : www. pinterest.com

 

This was what I learnt all my life. If someone hurls you abuses, don’t reply back, just stay silent. If you don’t agree, don’t get into arguments, just keep silent. If you don’t like something, just keep it to yourself. For silence is golden.

All this seemed believable. Why get into unnecessary drama?

Till recently, I came across two real scenarios.

Scenario 1

A picture perfect relation. The couple who never fight. A relationship you look upto.   Made for each other types, who can understand each other, just by looking at one another. Never have any fights, no arguments. No one would say a thing, that would hurt each other. So much so that, they avoid any argument. Yet there are things which trobule either of them. So Both look for conversations outside the marriage. They love each other so much that they cannot not hurt one another.

Scenario 2

A not so perfect couple. They fight over petty things. They too love each other, so much so that they can’t sleep till there are unresolved issues. Yet they will have an argument, they will fight and still be together. Yet their hearts are clear, no hidden feelings.

Which one would you like to have?

silence-is-gold
courtesy : buzzle.com

 

How is a relation without the deep meaningful conversations? Hollow, empty from within. You may talk about everything, yet if in a relation, you don’t talk to each other about your deepest fears, if you fail to sit and discuss with each other what you disagree on, there will be always gap in that relationship. You will look for validation not from within, not from spouse, but you will try to find a validation in the outside world. This can become a seed for extramarital affairs.

So, when something troubles you, go and speak up. It’s not the viewpoints which hurt, but sometimes the way or the tone in which they are said hurt people. So, find what troubles and try to put your argument in a different way.

But converse, and break your silence especially for the people who matter.

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Courtesy : http://www.rishikajain.com

You wronged me.

When I was small, I looked at you Like my Father, brother or a friend.

As i grew bigger, I realized you do not look at me the same way.

The changes in my body, have made you drool over me.

Yet, I am not an object of lust.

Most of us even in India have a privilege of being born in safe secure homes, where we are loved, respected and protected by our families. We grow up looking at  our fathers and brothers, on how male figures are in a female’s life and look around trusting them. We go to schools and colleges, and make friends with boys, and that trust is there coz that’s what we have learnt. We marry and entrust our husbands with all the faith.

We come from the land of Durga and Saraswati.We come from the land where Female power is the supreme, Where without a GAURI POOJAN, even A GANESH UTSAV is not complete. We come from the land where, a female goddess is worshipped before every occasion.

Today, in that same land, I do not feel safe. If i wear skirt,unseen eyes imagine rest of my legs. If i wear Jeans and a top, unfelt hands imagine them over me.

When Nirbhaya was rapped, it was not she alone, but all the wives, sisters and daughters were rapped enmasse.

When few days before, few men who walked on streets of bangalore, it was not just those females, we all were wronged by the entire generation of males.

Let us stop expecting from the society to change, Come let’s empower each one of us and fight for us.