I is the Ego

” I ”

A single alphabet which should always be capitalised when written alone, even though written in the middle of a sentence.

A one alphabet word which won’t ever let you surrender.

I am me.

I did this for you.

I like this

And I hate this

I will not ever talk to you.

I will be the best

This I in our lives is the ego. Our identity, created by our magnanimous minds. The false self which lives within each of us. Our persona, our talent, our abilities and this I and me lurk behind them and keep giving us the power to rule our own lives. If I could be stopped here, the world would have been a better place.

But I never stops there. I wants to rule the close family, friends, peer groups and so on. When this I takes on this negative trend.I becomes the ego, giving us the feelings of insecurity, anger, jealousy and so forth.

But can we do away with ego? No..If I don’t worth myself, I will be depressed, worthless.

So what do we do?

Have a balance of our positive and negative self. Let go of the feelings which cause unhappiness. Let our positive self-emerge from the false persona we live in. And where I becomes a trouble, let it be replaced by We.

Pleasure is a sin 

Last Friday, I and my 8 year old were having a conversation. He is a big foodie and has been putting on weight. I had always been on heavier side and I am fully aware of the nasty comments, so I don’t want him to end up with a bruised ego, so I constantly encourage him to exercise more, avoid sweets. But while conversing, I just had this idea everything which gives you pleasure is a sin.

Chocolates, sweets, coffee , pizzas, pastas.. infact anything which is yummier, tastier comes in the hit list. According to all the healthy diets we should be just eating boring salads, green tea, infact the awful the taste, on the top goes its nutrition.

This made me thinking what all do I add to the sinful pleasure.

Lazying around , sleeping too much. will be considered sinful .. but other than few workaholic who doesn’t want that.

Give me a choice, I would never work for the 48 hrs long work shift. All I would do is have a novel in hand, invent cooking and travel across the world.

Again, if you go on too many vacations, the older generation gives you a exasperated look as if you are doing the biggest crime in world.

Watching TV/ listening to music all are pounced upon by spiritual and religious heads as useless and sin.

Another pleasure Sex . is a taboo as far as Indian culture is considered. Infact, religious leaders all over the world shun it though it is the very basis of exsistence. ( We are not amoeba, who can just multiply  by binary fission)

The list is endless.

So if you want pleasure, be ready for the sin.

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Let Go!

There will be times in your life when you will be hurt by people close to you. If you keep holding to those events, you will get trapped in the vicious cycle of depression, anger and loneliness. At those times, It is important to Forgive and Let go!

Let go all the negative thoughts!

Let go all  the anger and resentment you might have!

For none other than you gets hurt if you keep dwelling on those thoughts!

Talk out and clarify the situation. Talk with the person involved. In case, you cannot talk with that person. Talk to your close friends. Imagine the situation that person might have been and why he did that or said that. Forgiveness does not mean that you excuse the act. A wrongdoing can not be denied. But yes, Forgiveness will give you peace to move on with your own life.

Give a vent to your feelings!

Write them down!

Speak about them!

Cry as much as you can!

But only to release the resentment and not to remember it.

Sit silent and Meditate.

Find time for yourself and involve yourself in constructive activities

Listen to Music

Read Books.

Forgive others, not because they need forgiveness, but because you need peace.

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Discover Challenge: Here and Now

via Discover Challenge: Here and Now

The most difficult part is living in the present. All of us want to live in the world of dreams and illusions, for the very simple reason that it seems so enthralling, so beautiful. The future always seems so promising. It is like a fresh canvas, on which we can paint whatever we want.

The present always seems boring, the same tandem repeat of events from getting up in the morning, going to work, finishing your daily chores and signing the day off. Each week day goes in the waiting of a future weekend which comes and brings in a fresh week. Yet, we never look at those week days as a fresh canvas. Probably, most of us are bored by the monotony. Some of us don’t like where we are stuck, may be in relations or at workplace.

However, even a small break, one weekend or a vacation brings life to the withered flowers.  The memories we form in those times cloud our mind and keep going till the next one. And this becomes a vicious cycle.

However for some, even the memories are painful, and living in present is a uphill task for them.

All spiritual leaders stress on the importance of being and living in the present. What does meditation do? It brings you back to the present. Now the question is If being in present is so important, what can we do ?

Right from the childhood, teach your kids to be content and happy in what they are doing. Let them choose a profession according to their abilities and according to what makes them happy and not what is the rat race and what will fetch them millions.

For those of us who are stuck….if you can change … change it now … or start a search to what stimulates you mentally and emotionally. If you are stuck in a bad job, a bad career choice, Move on. If you Can’t, find something that will motivate you and keep you going.If you are stuck in a bad relation, try to reform it. Find why it is bad and change it. Find time for yourself, cultivate a hobby.

Erase the painful memories. Forgive where you can. Forget where u cant. A little dementia won’t do you any harm.

If you can’t make yourself happy…you can’t make anyone else. So start living in the present, and find little things which motivate you.

My list is here

  1. My family
  2. Music
  3. Writing
  4. walking

I am still searching more.

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Count your Blessings

Each morning so many of us wake up with a heavy heart, some of us want better jobs, some want more money, some a better spouse, some better children…The wants are endless. But in that mood of melancholy we forget our blessings.

Let me give you the checklist

  1. Are you alive today?
  2. Is there someone( even one person) who loves you?
  3. Did you have your last meal?
  4. Do you have a home to go back to ?
  5. Do you have a place to sleep?
  6. You had a choice of clothes to wear this morning?
  7. You didn’t spent the last minute in fear of your life?
  8. You can read and write?
  9. You do not have to worry about how you will buy the next meal?
  10. You have access to clean water?
  11. You have access to clean washrooms?

So be thankful for what you have and stop cribbing over what you don’t have.

ALWAYS REMEMBER – A ROSE LIVES AMONG THE THORNS, AND A LOTUS GROWS IN MUDDY WATER.

THE MORE WE HAVE, THE MORE DISSATISFIED HERE. ONLY WHEN WE LEARN TO BREAK FROM THIS CYCLE WE WILL BE TRULY HAPPY.IMG_5062

 

 

Good , Bad and The Evil

She eats eggs on a Tuesday! Surely she will go to hell!

My goodness they are Hindus, and they cook Chicken at home! What kind of Hindus they are!

All of us have heard about these statements and many more. Is one’s inherent goodness linked to just these or something beyond it. Can One  be declared evil, if one does all of the above.

Take 1 : If you are eating eggs daily, not a big deal…Tuesday is just another day. What has my morality to do with eating eggs. Eggs are a good source of protein, loaded with nutrients and vitamins, easy to cook and yummy to taste. So who gives the authority to another to judge someone based on their eating eggs whether tuesday or any other day or not eating eggs any day.

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Take 2 : Vegan or non vegan, what is the big deal! what has this got to with one’s  spirituality? Has this any concern with one being evil.

I agree according to some animals are living beings…but so are plants.

Counter comment is we eat a part of plant and don’t destroy it as a whole.

A tiger eats a deer. So Tiger is evil and deer is good.

But Isn’t this a delicate balance of food chain.  Man lies at the apex of food chain and before agricultural practices were introduced, the pre historic man was a hunter indeed.

I am not advocating vegetarian versus non vegetarian. All one should have is a balanced diet.  All i want to put forth is to delink religion, ethics and morality from what anyone eats. Let everyone follow what his Inner conscience dictates.

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Why do we confuse morality with our eating preferences?

The way different regions have different eating habits have been dictated by the availability of particular food, climate and so forth. In current Techno era, all lines have become blurred.

How one’s body reacts to a particular food  determines his eating patterns in the long run.

This has nothing to do with someone being immoral, if he eats a particular food.

This blog is inspired by and is in response to Beyond good and evil

 

 

 

 

Obsessed