I is the Ego

” I ”

A single alphabet which should always be capitalised when written alone, even though written in the middle of a sentence.

A one alphabet word which won’t ever let you surrender.

I am me.

I did this for you.

I like this

And I hate this

I will not ever talk to you.

I will be the best

This I in our lives is the ego. Our identity, created by our magnanimous minds. The false self which lives within each of us. Our persona, our talent, our abilities and this I and me lurk behind them and keep giving us the power to rule our own lives. If I could be stopped here, the world would have been a better place.

But I never stops there. I wants to rule the close family, friends, peer groups and so on. When this I takes on this negative trend.I becomes the ego, giving us the feelings of insecurity, anger, jealousy and so forth.

But can we do away with ego? No..If I don’t worth myself, I will be depressed, worthless.

So what do we do?

Have a balance of our positive and negative self. Let go of the feelings which cause unhappiness. Let our positive self-emerge from the false persona we live in. And where I becomes a trouble, let it be replaced by We.

Journey

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Photo Credits : Dr Prashant Nasa; Munnar, Kerala, India

via Photo Challenge: Path

The woods are lovely dark and deep, 

But I have promises to keep; 

And Miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost 

 

When we are small, we enjoy each moment and live in present. But as we grow up, we forget how to enjoy and immerse ourselves in the rat race of life. We wait for the next event, next birthday, next anniversary and so on.

Life is a celebration. The real enjoyment, the celebration is the journey itself. When we take a holiday, we start enjoying ourselves right from the moment we start our journey. We enjoy at airport, in the flight and then at the place we intended to go. But in the daily mundane of life, we forget this. Each day is a journey we have to relish. We do not have to wait till we reach the end to enjoy.

So, from today try to find pleasures in the path you have chosen each day.

 

Discover Challenge: Here and Now

via Discover Challenge: Here and Now

The most difficult part is living in the present. All of us want to live in the world of dreams and illusions, for the very simple reason that it seems so enthralling, so beautiful. The future always seems so promising. It is like a fresh canvas, on which we can paint whatever we want.

The present always seems boring, the same tandem repeat of events from getting up in the morning, going to work, finishing your daily chores and signing the day off. Each week day goes in the waiting of a future weekend which comes and brings in a fresh week. Yet, we never look at those week days as a fresh canvas. Probably, most of us are bored by the monotony. Some of us don’t like where we are stuck, may be in relations or at workplace.

However, even a small break, one weekend or a vacation brings life to the withered flowers.  The memories we form in those times cloud our mind and keep going till the next one. And this becomes a vicious cycle.

However for some, even the memories are painful, and living in present is a uphill task for them.

All spiritual leaders stress on the importance of being and living in the present. What does meditation do? It brings you back to the present. Now the question is If being in present is so important, what can we do ?

Right from the childhood, teach your kids to be content and happy in what they are doing. Let them choose a profession according to their abilities and according to what makes them happy and not what is the rat race and what will fetch them millions.

For those of us who are stuck….if you can change … change it now … or start a search to what stimulates you mentally and emotionally. If you are stuck in a bad job, a bad career choice, Move on. If you Can’t, find something that will motivate you and keep you going.If you are stuck in a bad relation, try to reform it. Find why it is bad and change it. Find time for yourself, cultivate a hobby.

Erase the painful memories. Forgive where you can. Forget where u cant. A little dementia won’t do you any harm.

If you can’t make yourself happy…you can’t make anyone else. So start living in the present, and find little things which motivate you.

My list is here

  1. My family
  2. Music
  3. Writing
  4. walking

I am still searching more.

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Count your Blessings

Each morning so many of us wake up with a heavy heart, some of us want better jobs, some want more money, some a better spouse, some better children…The wants are endless. But in that mood of melancholy we forget our blessings.

Let me give you the checklist

  1. Are you alive today?
  2. Is there someone( even one person) who loves you?
  3. Did you have your last meal?
  4. Do you have a home to go back to ?
  5. Do you have a place to sleep?
  6. You had a choice of clothes to wear this morning?
  7. You didn’t spent the last minute in fear of your life?
  8. You can read and write?
  9. You do not have to worry about how you will buy the next meal?
  10. You have access to clean water?
  11. You have access to clean washrooms?

So be thankful for what you have and stop cribbing over what you don’t have.

ALWAYS REMEMBER – A ROSE LIVES AMONG THE THORNS, AND A LOTUS GROWS IN MUDDY WATER.

THE MORE WE HAVE, THE MORE DISSATISFIED HERE. ONLY WHEN WE LEARN TO BREAK FROM THIS CYCLE WE WILL BE TRULY HAPPY.IMG_5062

 

 

A beautiful love story

Muse

Theirs was a beautiful love story. He had loved her ever since testosterone ran in his blood.

And she had known only him, when  youth and beauty had started  knocking on her door.

Their love was as pious as the unborn child.

Untouched by the cruelties of life.

He would pass by her window every day just to have a glimpse.

And she would keep standing on the window sill till he would pass by.

He would think of her as his lucky mascot,

She would pray for him more than the self.

He would shyly smile when his friends would mention,

She would blush whenever she heard his name.

They kept waiting for the perfect time ,

When they would be mature enough to handle

 

Time flew ….

They both grew up, went in the different directions life took them.

He mentions her in his musings.

And she reads it, smiles and moves on.

 

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Life Now and Then 

I grew up in a small sleepy mountain town. The day would begin early and would end as soon as the sun would set. If someone was not home by 6:00 pm, it would be a alarming situation. Everyone in the town knew everyone else, and every news would spread like fire. 

The elders in the town had only one mission to compare who among the kids got highest in the boards, and who among them was selected in professional courses. Those who could finish their studies and go and settle in big cities were successful and others who couldn’t were considered mediocres.

Winters would be fun, with everyone sitting outside their homes in sun, and munching on peanuts. Life was such an easy go thing. 

All I had ever dreamt of was becoming a teacher in my local college, drive a car and come home before 5 each day. I had never known how to gossip, books were my only friends. I knew not how to make a cup of tea or roll a round chappati. Niether I knew how to fake a feeling. Life had been so simple then, no complicated feelings, no burden of expectations. 

Life is so complicated now,  day starts earlier than it was in my little town but ends later than 10. I remember my elders. telling me that an evening prayer meant thanking God for the day and that no one should be out after the evening prayer. But in this part of world, all this is superstition. People work all day and night to buy their dream homes where they just go to sleep. Having kids is just a social responsibility.. Coz no one has time to raise them .. Either maids or grandparents can raise them up. I can never reach home before 5. Neither can i drive my car, traffic jams and high speed make me mad. Only some days in a week she can I make a round chappati .. Rest of the days I just ignore. Even in winters there is no time for peanuts or sun.

Somedays I wish I can be nobody. That I can run back to my little town where I can bask in sunshine, enjoy those peanuts, where no one would judge me for my uneven rotis. Someday … Yes someday. 

But there are ties.. Are they actual or just in my mind .. A small town girl who cannot adjust to the big city life. 

Yes it is my own  indecision. I had wished a simple life and I am into a high end urban life.. Busy neighbours .. No real friends .. And performance in society is the only thing that matters.

Well all that is one face of the corporate life we all deal with. The other face of this life is our sweet families to whom we yearn to come back daily, for whom we keep burning ourselves so that they can sleep without any tensions.  

But is it really ok to go to those extremes. No, I feel. A balance is a must so that we do not burn out ourselves, give adequate time to ourselves the foremost and our family as well.

The steps I took to relieve myself were 

1. Develop a hobby and give it time. 

2. Spend sometime alone, atleast one hour in a week. 

3. Take a break. Go on vacation with your family where you are in limited touch with all the hotspots and Wifi. 

I am just back from one such vacation and completely refreshed to share my tips. 

Life is actually simple and it is our thoughts which complicate it. So, give yourself a break from whatever troubles you. And you will be back with a bang. 
Good bye till my next post ! 

My experiments with Weight loss

Once fat, Always fat.

So was me. “Fat” I had always been, as long as I could remember. Would come last in the race in PE classes, had a beautiful face but being obese would give me that mature look that would prompt people to ask ” Are you studying in college? ” and I would politely say I am just in Grade 10. And my mom would say as in all Punjabi households .. कोई नी पुत्तर, खाते पिते घर का बच्चा है! नज़र ना लगाओ !


So it went on for years, even got married, much to the horror of my In law family that how could their good looking son choose such a fat girl. His bad luck or mine good! May be only God knows.

And then pregnancy added another graceful kilos. At times ill fitting clothes would sent me to reduce my night time meal and I would keep struggling to get a few kilos down and which in no time would come back again.So it went ..

Till precisely 11 months back .. A weight loss bug bit my husband. He enrolled in a gym and started being cautious about what would enter his mouth. How could I remain aloof . Well to make it simple .. I had more grilling schedule. And as in all Indian families the sole responsibility of my son before and after office work, I could not hit gym.


But competition .. That’s the only drive in today’s world.. So I started adding kilometres and steps to my IPhone. Alas! For a Punjabi girl in love with all good food in the world .. Sweets to be more specific .. How much would it help.

Friends suggested The famous Gm diet .. Oh how can one be without carbs .. I tried for a day .. gave it up mid afternoon.

Another day didn’t eat the whole day only to end up eating a big doughnut and a Macdonald burger at night.

In today’s world all the answers are Internet .. So came the numerous apps on mobile.. Edmondo tracker .. My fitness pal .. And then weight loss books on my kindle

But still weight loss eluded me.

By then I was about to give up .. But somehow good sense prevailed ..

1. I continued tracking my steps.

2. I carried n number of small tiffins to work to eat a fruit or a vegetable 2 hourly.

3. Reduced my carb intake .. Though not drastically.

4. Increased my protein intake

And with the initial loss of 3 -4 kgs came the renewed self confidence. Yes ! I can do it.

Today Almost 11 kgs lighter.. I feel young at heart.

Though when even 1 kgs slips up, I get tense again. But the journey has been worthwhile.

And it all lies in your mind.. Lose fat in your mind .. You will start losing it everywhere.