When I came across this decade hop, I was excited. I could have written my autobiography, yet when I sat down, I deleted 3 full posts and found nothing I write would do justice to the transformation within me.
Whenever a major calamity or a tragedy, natural or man-made happens in life, it changes you. There will be always life before it and life after it.
As I sit to write about the last decade, there was a girl before the incident and the woman I am now. I did not let it break me. I struggled for a long time, I had my downs, but I did not let it deter me. What was supposed to turn me into dust became a Midas Touch and turned me into gold.
I will not talk about what, when, why because all that’s a fodder for gossip but I will definitely focus on the transformation within me.
A decade before, I was a girl so unsure of herself, who would not dare stand up for her own rights. I was naive, stupid and trusted everyone. I would cry easily and inspite of being working and educated, I easily let myself be used. When my own betrayed my trust, all I was left was with myself to start anew.
From that point begins my new story !! An independent, confident and a strong me. I am still naive, but I no longer expect from others to be fair just because I won’t harm them.
I no longer worry about public perceptions and false image. I speak up my mind and through my blog I have stood up for people who needed me. Whether it has been a story on a woman who was cheated or on the practices of society where they worship Goddess, but demean the one they’ve brought home, I have tried to make a difference.
When I changed cities from Delhi to Dubai obviously in a search of a new life, I was afraid. I was working in one of the top notch labs in India and I was not even sure if I would clear my licensing exam. Yet, slowly and steadily, I built in again, made place for myself professionally.
My family life had been through a big turmoil, but we started again. Built in from the remains and made it better and best again.
I learnt that I’ll have to let go toxic memories, toxic relationships and I would have to learn to trust again.
Today I do what I love, whether it’s my blog, my work or my family. I’ve learnt things hard way yet I’m thankful for the life I have.
Life is not fair, nor is it easy, but how we deal with it is our own choice. We alone are responsible for the happiness within. If we keep looking back at the worst things that have happened, we would never be able to live. So forgive, forget and move on. Instead learn the lesson and keep going towards a better you.
I have become wiser, have travelled the world, lots of places in the past 3+ years, and that has humbled me as well. We spend on memories and on quality time.
Before the turn of last decade, I was mother to a toddler, who is well a preteen now. For all those mothers who wait for a child to grow up, I am adding a caution here. Keeping your cool with a teenager is much more difficult than sleepless nights of a toddler. The key is to enjoy each phase, as soon they will outgrow even this.
As I turn 40 this year, I would look back at this decade and remember the best part that is the last 4 years of my life.
As I sign off I’ll quote my favorite verse from Robert Frost
The woods are lovely dark and deep
But I have promises to keep,
And Miles to go, Before I sleep.
This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organized by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee”
Beautifully expressed Ruchi.. keep going and keep surprising yourself with your transformation. 🙂
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Thanks hema for reading and appreciating
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It is really wonderful that you have not allowed the difficulties you faced to weaken you. Insstead you learned from them and emerged stronger. Congratulations.
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Thanks Jay sir, for reading and appreciating
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It’s good to see that you were stronger and never believe to give up, I love all the quotes which you have shared, and I believe with time we all became matured and accept the fact of life
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Thanks for reading and I am happy you liked it
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So agree with you Ruchi where you said,
“We alone are responsible for the happiness within”.
Everyone has their bad day and good day ,but Being happy or sad or puzzled in any situation, is completely their choice, If we want to give our day happy ending, we will go for it, inspite of many problems and hurdles, we come out as a winner for sure,
Well written!!
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Thanks Archana. I’m glad you liked.
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Hey Ruchi such a sweet and positive post inspite of the past that prompted you to write it!
I’m so happy that you rose out of the ashes of the past. This is very inspiring for all of us.
And from my sporadic interaction with you I know you to be a very generous and helpful person! Stay that way dear.
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Ah Radhika ! You made my day…we should definitely catch up …my only other blogger from UAE and post a selfie on social media like others do 😜
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Let’s do that!! 😁👍
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It is amazing that you have come out of the experiences of life as a stronger person…yes, time heals all! I have also felt it…
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Time heals if you let it heal ..if you keep going back it takes longer isn’t it
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Beautifully penned down. Your story shows us whatever may be life is going, we have to find our true passion to live by. Glad to know you found it on reading and blogging. Best wishes 🙂
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Thanks for reading
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Hi, Ruchi, your organic growth from a naive girl to a learned woman is a part of life. All of us bumble through life, face ups and downs. But only a few of us learn from our experiences. The lessons you have learnt and shared as a few maxims are some of the eternal truths of life. Do your duty, leave the rest, as Lord Krishna states.
All the best,
Meena from balconysunrise.wordpress.com
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Thanks for reading
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Hi Ruchi. My biggest takeaway from your post is that you continue to be there for others despite having faced difficult times yourself. I always feel that what happens to us should make us tender and kind, rather than bitter. And that’s what came across in your post. Good luck!💐💐
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You are a great reader Sonia …you could read between the lines too. 😘
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Wow!!! What a great transformation..You came out as a very strong person who remained positive and forward looking inspite of everything..Kudos to you.. May you be blessed with eternal happiness..
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Thank you so much for reading and appreciating
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I believe that we really need to forgive, forget, and move on, that is how we will be happy in our present life and also create an amazing future ourselves. Grudges and hatred will never take us to a happy place. I hope you have a rocking 40’s. Good Luck.
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Rightly so forgive, forget and move on
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Removing the toxic people is definitely the best way to go ahead in life. Hope now your life gets better at every moment and make you courageous and positive !!
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Yes definitely that’s the way
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Ruchi, this speaks volumes and happy yobreda this piece written by you. And I read it twice because it’s like my story too.
It’s a journey you have shared and am e hoying my life with my toddler and I can relate to what it’s in a teen phase.
More power to you dear
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“We alone are responsible for the happiness within” this is the mantra I have been following. I could resonate with your journey. You have grown atrong because you choose to. Keep moving and being happy!!
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Hugs to you. We all have to just start taking responsibility for ourselves
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Beautiful and inspiring post, Ruchi. More power to you and welcome to the forties club. It’s a liberating world out here. Lots of love
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Totally agree, it’s a liberating world this side if age
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That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. An honest post with a lot of takeaways. Thank you for sharing your journey and inspiring particularly those who are struggling. Wishing you the best of everything.
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Thank you for reading
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I so agree with you when u say that – “we are responsible for our own happiness..” Depending on others or expecting things out of others and blaming our toxic relations and memories just worsens our situation.. just pulls us into deep grave of depression.. keeping out toxic people is an art in itself but the moment you move out of it, u are left liberated. something similar have happened with me in the last decade but spilling it out would be fodder for gossip. 😉 on a serious not, i loved reading your post and found myself in a lot of places. cheers to us!
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Hugs to you as well.
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Hugs, Ruchi. For all the troubles that you’ve undergone and emerged a brave brave, hats off. Stay strong! The best is yet to come.
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Yes of course.
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I really loved your post Ruchi and felt a connection and similarity. I agree we should not compare our lives with others because It gives you only dissatisfaction. You are a brave one, I must say so focus only on positives. Only we can change our situations by fighting for the right. God bless you dear, Best wishes!
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Thanks for reading and Hugs to you
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Indeed miles to go before we sleep and we should try and make it our best till we can.
A lovely post telling some experienced points of letting past go and cherish future and present.
So I have a company when we together enter 40’s by removing toxic thoughts, and people too.
And yes you are right keeping cool with a teenager is more difficult than sleepless toddler nights as I’m going through one and maybe this phase is making me more patient and wiser.
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I even got a T shirt ” it’s difficult to be cool …but I can” to remind me how to deal with him.
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Lovely post. To remain positive in the face of difficulty is a very tough thing to do and you triumphed. Being there for your family and staying calm is the best.
Much love
Deepika
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Thanks for reading. Positivity in any situation is the key.
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What amazing lessons, Ruchi. My life has taught me much the same. Some days, I wish I had this wisdom decades ago–but I guess we need to earn it with the years.
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Coal becomes diamond in the face of pressure. Isn’t it.
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Inspiring and what a collection of lovely quotes. You have said so much in brevity. Kudos. Keep writing, keep inspiring.
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Thanks Piya. Glad you liked
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Sharing life lessons to me is the essence of blogging, kudos for milestones and journey ahead
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Thanks Pooja …I’ve always loved your blogs and the way you are creating awareness about mental health is too good
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Kudos to you for coming out in open with such a candid post and your lessons are important for everyone
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Thanks for reading
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Great tale of strength. Accepting reality and moving on. More power to you.
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Thank you so much
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After reading your post I want to say ‘Life begins at 40’with all your rules of lives you lived through I wish you all the very best😊
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Thanks Siva ..yes 40s are liberating
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You are a big inspiration . Your life lessons and quotes are truly valuable . Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom and sprinkling it with positivity for your readers. Kudos to you. Wishing you more luck and happiness in the next decade as well..!!!
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Thanks for reading
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Your write up was so uncanny.It was as if I wrote it.If I had to write this I would have used the same 5 pointers…and the woods are lovely dark and deep…. Thoroughly enjoyed your journey and truly a toddler is much easier to handle but I would say don’t miss out any moments with your teenager too…in a flash of a second he/she will be gone and u will be left with an empty nest. Cherish every moment you have with them. God bless 🙂
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Thanks Harjeet. Happy that you enjoyed this. Ya he will fly away soon…
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As coal turns to diamond under pressure, it becomes precious. So do we humans!
Its good that you were able to overcome the negativity in life and move ahead. Keep up the high spirits!
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Thanks Disha
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Such an inspiring post, I am glad that you fought against all the odds and not only survived but thrived. Wish you more power and happiness in the coming years.
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Thank you so much for visiting
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Beautifully penned . special applause for “miles to go before I sleep”
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That’s one of my favorites. Thanks for reading
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There was so much strength and positivity in that post, Ruchi. Think it might rub off on me as well as the other readers. All the best for the next decade and may it be the best one yet.
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Thanks for reaching out and all the best for 2020
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That was a beautiful and sweet post, full of positivity. It is important to learn to let go as that helps us enjoy and live in the present. Wishing you all the best for the next decade.
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Thanks and wish you a very happy 2020
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Very positive lessons to learn from your transformation! Wishing you all the best for what is to come!
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Thank you are reading
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Scars of the past can’t change us entirely. They shape us, but not change. It melts my heart understanding how the past experience made you stronger, yet you hold your genuineness and accept people can be unfair.
I wish you have years, just like last 4 where you enjoy the fullest.
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Thank you so much for reading and reaching out
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When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Your post is such an anthem for strength and courage. I really enjoyed reading this! Keep writing, because you’ve got what it takes!
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Thanks for reading
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Hey Ruchi, such nice look back at the decade gone. I totally agree that every phase of parenting is tough; be it toddler mom or a teenage mom. It is better to enjoy the moment than wait for the next phase.
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Totally agree.
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Have a happy fotry’s stint dear and emerge even more stronger, confident and beautiful. Your words touched my heart and made me want to just call you and tell you that I want to hug you tight for your courage.
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I have so much to learn from your journey too. Infact when I read it so much of that felt like my own. Love and hugs
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Such valuable life lessons you had shared in this post and I am agree with all..i agree no other can take charge of our happiness and it is all depend on us to how to react and deal with different situations. all the best for upcoming decade.
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All the best to you too
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Parenthood teaches you so many things. Thanks for the caution on dealing with teenagers. My girl is only three, but I have to inculcate patience. Will start doing that.
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Yes absolutely
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Good thought process you have developed over time ….as you quote – Time heals everything . Yes I also agree . Do your best and leave the rest …..best wishes for future …..I am also in my forties and understand when you talk of dealing with teenage children
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That’s one of the best life lessons that I’ve come across in a while. Noone is in charge of our happiness. 🙂
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What a wonderful way to end a beautiful post. I agree with your learning, have come to agree and accept a few of them still there lies a road ahead. Here wishing the best of everything to you in the next decade 🙂
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Beautiful write up. I admire your strength and courage. You are surely getting wiser with age. More power to you!
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100 percent agreed..I appreciate how you deal and your have shared your piece of writing.nice thoughts you have added to your blogs.Enjoy margerita 40..stay bindas..have a lovely life ahead.wonderfully depicted.
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I have adopted similar policies and have found peace and can move on. What others this is not our problem is the best thought you can live with. Now that you are writing.. waiting to hear more!
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I could sense a lot of positivity in you, Ruchi. Many people go through lows in their life, some just keep drowning in the sorrow and only a few strong-willed could make their way towards the light. You are one strong woman who kept moving in spite of many hurdles and roadblocks in your way. More power to you and wish you all the luck for the upcoming decade!
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wwoowow beautifully expressed!
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Wonderfully expressed and I believe in all the cardinal rules of life you have mentioned.
I also believe that we should be selfish in life to an extent, because at the end of the day you are responsible for your own health and well being.
— rightpurchasing
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What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And your post is proved you’re not one to be killed easily, for you will emerge stronger and braver and tougher no matter what Life throws at you. Never ever let go of this quality of yours. Reading your post gave me inspiration! Here’s to more life lessons and enjoyable phases.
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Thank you so much
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Your post is a lovely ode to personal growth over time. You have done a good job of expressing deeply, without giving anything of substance away.
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The quote from Robert FRost summed it all so well! We’ve all been there, far from perfect, naive and easily gullible. What matters is the clarity of thought you have now and how happy you feel with yourself and the people around you!
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Reading your post as you gave a glimpse of your life in the past decade shows the fighter in you. I appreciate your zeal to live your life to the fullest.
Here is wishing you lots of strength and loads of happiness for the years to come.
#readbypreetispanorama
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