Reputation or Morals !!

Neha was bubbling with anger as she reached the office. The collateral was the poor peon who had cleaned her table.

My seat is the one besides her. I kept watching her for an hour. She couldn’t locate the file right in front of her, and for that she blasted everyone she could. Her face was tense. The once smiling Neha had metamorphosed into the Goddess Kali over the past 1 year.

It all started when the once deeply in love Neha realized that she was being cheated by her husband for the past 3 years. At first she tried to coax him to work on their relationship, but soon she realized that she was the one working overtime for it. Her husband had no signs of remorse and didn’t want to sacrifice his playboy image for the sake of their marriage.

She along with her daughters moved out of the nest they had once built together. No soon did she do that, the entire clan of her In laws, aunties, uncles and even her own relatives started advising her on how to save her marriage.

“Men need sex, it’s like food for them. Be good to him in bed and he will stop venturing out.”

“You should have kept a tab on his mobile phone.”

“Why did you go every weekend to your mothers house?”

Some were ready to take her to astrologer who would tell her ways to counteract evil other woman.

Everyday she came full of such remarks, and the once strong girl would break down when asked.

Ever since she filled for Divorce, they made her life more hell. Infidelity of her husband was acceptable but Divorce was not an option as per them.

“Let’s go for a coffee.” I asked her after sometime. Reluctantly she picked herself up.

“Got stuck in traffic” I casually asked.

“Ya, traffic of well wishers.” She sarcastically remarked.

“His aunt and mother came over. They want me to reconsider my decision.”

“No one in our families ever had divorce.” They say.

“Females should have patience. Men are like that only. Being promiscuous is their second nature. Youth does not last long, and then he will realize your worth.”

“I am just furious. Infidelity is acceptable to them because it was under wraps. But divorce is not as it has spoiled their reputation. Which reputation do they take about?”

I tried to calm her, but thought about the strange ways of our society and it’s damage control measures. As long as what a male or a female did was under the covers, no one bothered. But once a female speaks about and does not want to be a part of it, it becomes a matter of reputation.

I had once read a census over divorce rates being low in India! Is it a thing to be proud of ? I wondered.

No!!! My mind cried out aloud.

Divorce rates are low because we are taught to adjust and sacrifice self for others. A woman is set as an epitome of sacrifice. The family’s name, the feelings of entire galaxy are on the shoulders of that one female. The stigma of abandoning her duties and damaging the false reputation prick conscience of many who even think of divorce.

The great Indian joint family upholds more financial than moral considerations. Think of kids and the family, as the plea which is given time and again. As per our traditions, Marriage is not between two individuals but two families, and the custodians of the families take it as a personal agenda to correct what has gone wrong.

Why do we value reputation over morals?

Food for thought!!

Do comment what you think!

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