I used to call myself a Feminist. I would feel irritated by the so called prejudices we have to face in the name of tradition in the patriarchal society we live in. However, over the years, I have found it’s the females who back bite a female.
Whether it is marriage, home or office, the one who is bolder and tries to change the mindset gets the flak.
If the Bahu tries to fight against the “Gift syndrome”, she is silenced by another woman in name of respect and tradition.
If a husband tries to adjust to his wife’s gruesome schedule and be a helping hand, his mother and sisters are the first to point out.
One of my close friends was in the midst of a hard decision a few months back. She wanted to take a sabbatical and unwind the stress which had crept into the niches of her mind and was slowly poisoning her system.
Well the first opposition to the decision was she herself.
She hadn’t asked a single penny from her husband or her parents ever since she started working. It’s not that she did not have a bank balance. But our traditional concepts dictate that it is to be touched only for emergency.
So, her leaving the job would require her to take money from her husband even for getting an eyebrow done. Her husband was a silent spectator to this dilemma of hers. She has had his supplementary credit cards and debit card for all his accounts, yet it was not him, but the turbulence inside her which was giving fire to her thoughts.
Next came the colleagues.
None of the male colleague questioned her decision. She wanted to be with her child and support him academically as she felt middle school were the transition years.
The opposition and questions came from Female colleagues.
“What will you do the whole day?”
“You will get bored and depressed without work!”
I wanted to question their hypocrisy but I kept mum.
Why blame males, when we females still think the same?
So if a husband comes and asks his wife, “What did you all day?” We as feminists point out to his patriarchal mindset, but what about ours?
Who gives us the freedom? Is it because we move out in circles with males, that our thinking has regressed.
If a female in-spite of being highly educated, takes a break to raise her children! Why do we frown upon?
If a male chooses to take care of the child and female works ! Why do we need to poke our noses ?
Twisted Feminism Isn’t it ?
One another friend of mine is going through divorce proceedings. She was brave enough to put a full-stop on her marriage after she found out that her husband had been sleeping all over the town for the past 4 years. What I would have expected was that her In laws should kick their son out and support the mother and the child. What’s happening is that the “son” is still the Raja beta and the loyal wife is being projected as villain and asked to adjust.
Another instance where female should support female, yet that never happens!
Hypocrisy that’s what is ingrained in us.
Had seen one series on Amazon Prime.
“Four more shots.” I didn’t understand the directors perspective. He wanted to show liberal modern females, who could not finally support one of them when it came to them, or did all of them pay for being liberal.
Then comes the recent viral incident in Gurgaon, NCR.. the crime capital against Women. A middle aged Aunty lecturer a girl over her short skirt, In fact invited men to rape girls who wear such clothes.
And we talk about males not supporting females! Over the years we have not even been able to change mentality of our own tribe!
Points to ponder until next time!!!