The Vagabond

Meaning : Calm and relaxed, not worrying about the things that you can’t change

Z is the last alphabet and with this post we would come to an end of A2Z Blogging 2019. This year my theme was Parenting and through out the month, I tried to focus on the kind of parent I am striving to be. You can read all the previous 25 posts in the links here.

A – Accept your Child !, B is for Behaviour, C is for Conversations ,D is for Dads, E is for Raising kids with Empathy, F is for Friends, G is for Gratitude, H is for Happy Kids, I for Monster I Pad,J is to enjoy the Journey of Parenthood, K – Children are like Kites , L – Let them go, M – The Joys of Mundane, N – Are you a Nagging parent?, O – Don’t Overprotect, P – Flexible Parenting, Q – Do not Quit, R – The Reading Habit, S – Parental Interference in Schools, T – Travel with your kids, U – Help them Understand their Worries, V – The Virtual life, W – Teaching Children not to Waste, X – EXAM Fever, Yin and Yang,

Once a parent, always a parent. Parenting never ends. May be when your kids are small, you feel things would get better as they grow. Well, that never happens. The nature of problems change, but you will always have something or the other to fret over with your children.

When they are infants or toddlers we worry about them falling sick, not eating, hurting themselves. A little bigger we worry about schools. Then we worry about their academic and extra curricular achievements. Still later about their careers, friends, marriage, their children and so on.

Parenting is complicated. Yet, being a parent is also satisfying. As they say, without children your house will be clean, but your heart will be empty. However, all the while in this journey of parenting, we forget about ourselves, our spouse, our friends, our parents.

The first key to effective parenting is to take good care of ourselves. Like I said in my First post , we can only accept our child if we learn to accept ourselves first. Stop running after the slimmer, the more beautiful, the more successful. Be the person you would love to be with.  As Mahatma Gandhi said ” Be the change you want to see.” Spend time with yourself, your spouse and the people who mean to you. Don’t keep everything else on the backstage since you are parent, and at the same time stop being a perfectionist. Stop being the super parent. Be human. Be unapologetically you.

Parenting should be joy, parenting should bring us peace. And this has to come from within. No one can teach the other about this. You walk the path, you learn your ways. I learnt the things my way. I’m not the perfect parent, but for me my child is the best, and for him I’m the best. My parenting style might not suit you or may not go with your philosophy. So forge your own path.

The only Golden rule to remember is that Love them the way they are. Love them unconditionally. Do not love them because they will carry your name, or bring laurels, or whatever. Accept them, don’t demand perfection and don’t project your expectations.

I once read in Amullya Malladi’s Mango season… ” No matter how your culture tells you that you owe your parents, you have to remember that children never owe their parents. You don’t owe your parents anything! But you will owe your children complete love and loyalty.”

I do not endorse the statement ( as a child) but at the same time ( as a parent ) right from day 1, I have not kept any expectations from my child. This is the secret to Zen. Do your duty and don’t expect anything in return whatever be the relation. Strive your best to be a good human being and your children will soak all the goodness.

With this post on Z, I sign off from A2Z Challenge 2019.

Do keep visiting my blog.