Zen

Meaning : Calm and relaxed, not worrying about the things that you can’t change

Z is the last alphabet and with this post we would come to an end of A2Z Blogging 2019. This year my theme was Parenting and through out the month, I tried to focus on the kind of parent I am striving to be. You can read all the previous 25 posts in the links here.

A – Accept your Child !B is for BehaviourC is for Conversations ,D is for DadsE is for Raising kids with EmpathyF is for FriendsG is for GratitudeH is for Happy KidsI for Monster I Pad,J is to enjoy the Journey of ParenthoodK – Children are like Kites , L – Let them goM – The Joys of MundaneN – Are you a Nagging parent?O – Don’t OverprotectP – Flexible ParentingQ – Do not QuitR – The Reading HabitS – Parental Interference in SchoolsT – Travel with your kidsU – Help them Understand their WorriesV – The Virtual lifeW – Teaching Children not to WasteX – EXAM FeverYin and Yang,

Once a parent, always a parent. Parenting never ends. May be when your kids are small, you feel things would get better as they grow. Well, that never happens. The nature of problems change, but you will always have something or the other to fret over with your children.

When they are infants or toddlers we worry about them falling sick, not eating, hurting themselves. A little bigger we worry about schools. Then we worry about their academic and extra curricular achievements. Still later about their careers, friends, marriage, their children and so on.

Parenting is complicated. Yet, being a parent is also satisfying. As they say, without children your house will be clean, but your heart will be empty. However, all the while in this journey of parenting, we forget about ourselves, our spouse, our friends, our parents.

The first key to effective parenting is to take good care of ourselves. Like I said in my First post , we can only accept our child if we learn to accept ourselves first. Stop running after the slimmer, the more beautiful, the more successful. Be the person you would love to be with.  As Mahatma Gandhi said ” Be the change you want to see.” Spend time with yourself, your spouse and the people who mean to you. Don’t keep everything else on the backstage since you are parent, and at the same time stop being a perfectionist. Stop being the super parent. Be human. Be unapologetically you.

Parenting should be joy, parenting should bring us peace. And this has to come from within. No one can teach the other about this. You walk the path, you learn your ways. I learnt the things my way. I’m not the perfect parent, but for me my child is the best, and for him I’m the best. My parenting style might not suit you or may not go with your philosophy. So forge your own path.

The only Golden rule to remember is that Love them the way they are. Love them unconditionally. Do not love them because they will carry your name, or bring laurels, or whatever. Accept them, don’t demand perfection and don’t project your expectations.

I once read in Amullya Malladi’s Mango season… ” No matter how your culture tells you that you owe your parents, you have to remember that children never owe their parents. You don’t owe your parents anything! But you will owe your children complete love and loyalty.”

I do not endorse the statement ( as a child) but at the same time ( as a parent ) right from day 1, I have not kept any expectations from my child. This is the secret to Zen. Do your duty and don’t expect anything in return whatever be the relation. Strive your best to be a good human being and your children will soak all the goodness.

With this post on Z, I sign off from A2Z Challenge 2019.

Do keep visiting my blog.

6 thoughts on “Zen

Add yours

    1. Such a beautiful thought Ruchi. I always wonder at the coincidence that both of us end up touching the same subject while writing most of the posts. I wrote about expectations and acceptance. I saw them here. But I have to tell you that a few of your posts have indeed changed my perspective to parenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Nice message and post. I too believe that one should always focus on the controllable part. The one which isnt…the worrying wont help it anyway. It was great to come across your blog through this challenge. Keep writing.
    Congratulations on completing the challenge. All the best for future writing. Enjoy!
    #ContemplationOfaJoker #Jokerophilia

    Liked by 2 people

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