Remember that feeling when you hold your baby for the 1st time. They seem so small, tiny and fragile, and within that one moment all apprehensions, all worries become transfixed at protecting and nurturing this little soul. That’s when a parent is born. Everything from then on is about them, when to feed them, when to make them sleep, when to give water, when will he smile, when will he call you mom and dad? Even a sneeze or a cough becomes a big issue. Do we ever outgrow this?
Have you ever seen your child fall ?
If you are around, there will be a big hue and cry and many tears being shed. However, when you are not around, the same child will act bravely, stand up and depending on the intensity of pain, either start playing again or will try to come to you so that you can take care of the hurt.
When my son was in Grade 1, he fell down in the school and got a big cut on his chin. The school authorities called us immediately and informed that he was being taken to clinic, where he will get stitches. By the time my husband reached the clinic, the boy was lying patiently. His teacher congratulated us for having such a brave son who did not wince even once when he got the stitches and even after the fall. However, when I got him for stitch removal, he held tightly to me and created a big drama.
There is nothing called a perfect parent. Before kids came in our lives, we too were kids. We learn parenting through observations and trials. We make mistakes, we fail and we learn from them. So it’s for kids.
We should be the confidence that they can fall back on us, but we have to let them explore the world on their own.
Imagine if a bird never let her youngsters fly! They would never learn to fly. Who remembers the movie “Rio-Part 1”. Rio is separated from his parents and raised by humans. Rio raised by a girl never learns to fly, till it meets another bird and to prove its love learns to fly.
I have seen parents finishing their child’s homework. Some parents hover around the child and don’t let the child even play. Some go to lengths to choose their subjects, choose their universities and even force spouses of their choice.
When it comes to education, keep a watchful eye, but let the child be responsible for his education. Let the child solve his problems on his own, whether related to study or to relations. Advise him, if required but don’t micromanage everything.
Let them fail, let them mistakes and slowly let them be responsible.
As I had said in one of the earlier posts, my son was a preterm and low birth weight. This was totally unpalatable in the Multani family I got married to. So the entire in law brigade was on the look out that I should go back to work and they be handed over the child. My mother in law took the reins in her hand and would feed him by looking at the alarm clock. This went on for up to 2 years. The result was a picky eater. It took us all a longtime to make him realize to eat as per his hunger pangs and stop when you are full.
So whether it is a newborn or a growing child, you need to trust them to do the right.
I am participating in A2Z Blogging Challenge this April and this post is my entry for letter “O”.