Parent: Enough of screen time! Get up and finish your homework now ! 😡
Child: Just 5 minutes Mom ! The video is about to end.
10 minutes later
(A louder volume)
Parent: Get up now ! Your whole homework is pending and you are sitting in front of this idiot box. You are definitely going to fail this term.
This is a common scenario we all have been through. The parents out of the best interests of child want to ensure that he has finished his homework, gets adequate sleep and nutrition, gets engaged in a little of housework and above all spends less time on the gadgets.
The children have their own thinking and the minds usually do not align. What we think is best for them is usually far below the agenda set by them.
End result : A nagging parent and A nagging child.
Nagging does not lead anywhere. All it leads to a negative energy in the relationships which both the parent and the child detest. In the long run, this power struggle pushes the child away especially as the child moves towards teenage and adulthood. It damages the relationship.
A child feels that he is not being trusted and loses self esteem as well. Nagging is equivalent to fault finding. Considering that all he does is always wrong, a child just stops putting in any effort.
Let’s go back to above scenario
Parent : Hey, It’s 6 already. You should switch off the Video and finish your homework. You have loads to do today.
Child : Just 5 minutes Mom! The video is about to end.
10 minutes later
Parent : Hey, How much more time for your video to end. You told me it’s 5 minutes. You don’t want to sleep late. Isn’t it?
We all have inherited Nagging and it actually requires being mindful and calm to avoid doing what we won’t like being done with us.
Few steps which can help us communicate effectively especially as the child grows up.
1. Always address your child politely. Every Individual big or small, rich or poor needs respect.
2. Praise your child even for small efforts. Whenever you catch him doing a right thing, applaud him.
3. Remain positive and the energy just flows with you.
My son gave me a hard time as he started moving towards higher grades. He would not just want to sit and study. I was being blamed left and right for not inculcating the habit of studying regularly from an earlier age. Being in Joint family, the stress percolated down to him in form of nagging. It was leading us no where. More I emphasised, the more resistance I got. I started talking to him very politely without losing my cool. The difference was palpable in just a few weeks.
Parenting is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. Our aim should not be to avoid short term failures but to prepare them for the life ahead.
I am participating in A2Z Blogging Challenge this April and this post is my entry for letter “N”