This season it’s been a daily writing and today it was an unusually stressful day. My mind waded between options for J. J could be a junk food, a perennial problem. I started writing but then scratched it. My mind came to stop on the Journey, journey of life and the journey of parenting.
Time flies so soon. I still remember the day when I had got him home. A myriad of emotions were ruining through my mind, the hormonal upheaval had made me depressed and taking care of the little soul seemed so overwhelming. Not to talk about the expectations placed on the daughter in law, wife, daughter. Yet, I had fallen in love with what seemed a delicate and fragile life.
My son was a premature child and a low birth weight. Our first few months were concentrated on getting his weight in correct proportion, and my postpartum blues. Breastfeeding was a journey which was difficult yet beautiful but taxing till I had gained confidence in my abilities. When my maternity leave finished, I would feel guilty for leaving him and coming to work. Even though my little one was left in care of his grand mother, I never could get over that guilt and decided that I would have a second only if I quit and just be a full time mom.
I did take breaks in between just to be with him and those are times we both relish even now.
We often keep waiting for them to grow up, thinking it would get easier. Believe me, parenting is never easy. Every stage of life has different challenges and you keep growing as a parent with each. However, the time already gone never comes back. So enjoy each moment you can. Be it the firsts like the first smile, first step, first time he learnt to bicycle, the first day of school or just a random evening spent laughing.
My little one would always want to be be cuddled for sometime after he would wake up. He would request me, “Come and sleep.” This continued till he was around 6 years or so. He outgrew it, but so many times it’s me now who wants that cuddling.
You miss his sports day this year citing busy schedule, may be next year he will not even ask you to attend. You will never have that day again. They will be a little older than they are now. They won’t need you in the way need now. Just relish the time you have with them now. Before you realize this time would be gone. He would choose his friends over parents in his teens and growing years. And that’s when you will wish that he is still small.
Enjoy each moment now when the time is still there. Enjoy the joys of childhood. Enjoy the parenting you had so wanted.
I am participating in A2Z Blogging Challenge this April and this post is my entry for letter J.