The Vagabond

Is it important for a person to be happy or successful?

The answer to this question would be a unanimous “Happy”. However, when it comes to inculcating values, no one ever tells you that your happiness is of utmost importance. We are taught to be generous, kind, helpful, giving. Our schools teach us skills to be rich, smart and successful, but no one anywhere imparts you the skill to be happy.

Happy in whatever situation you are! Whether you win or you lose ! When life takes you on the rough road ! This is especially true of Indian Education and Indian parenting, though exceptions might be there.

I’m not talking about the pleasure derived from materialistic things which wanes off once the interest goes. I’m talking about being Happy and contained in whatever situation you are. I’m talking about the ability to bounce back when life knocks you hard, and it obviously will sometime or the other.

It is difficult to preach this to a child for whom a small toy or a gift means Happiness. However, even that child knows the difference between Happiness when playing with friends or spending time with his parents versus the toy.

As always, Happy parents raise Happy Children. So take time to do what makes you happy. Like for me it’s time for my blog, the date nights with my husband, our vacations.

I remember once in some birthday party, there was a game of statue. You had to be motionless as long as music was on. My son was playing very well. In the end, it was he and some senior girl. They both were playing so good and even after many tie breaking rounds, the winner could not be ascertained. Finally, he deliberately lost. When asked, he said someone wins and someone loses. Participation is more important than winning. I was the centre of envy that entire evening and I wouldn’t have felt more proud even if he would have won.

It’s so true, we lay so much emphasis on Results. Effort and participation is what is important and we should not be behind our children for achievement. Perfection is an over rated ability. Let your child put in effort and praise him for that effort.

Optimism goes a long way in keeping you happy. Help you child in looking at the glass half full and not half empty.

One thing about Instant gratification. Never give in to all the demands of your child. Give what is required and not everything what he wants. It’s during childhood when you should learn how to face a “No” so that later in life, when faced with No’s you don’t lose all your balance. It’s disheartening to read at times, teenagers committing suicides or getting depressed when a love interest rejects or parents refuse something like a mobile phone or a car etc. Teach them the value of experiences over materialism. Let a child learn how to tackle stronger emotions be it positive or negative. Let a child learn how to deal with rejection or failure.

As I wrote in my previous posts, love them unconditionally, be friends with them and let them forge strong friendships. Give them a happy environment and you will have a happy world.

I am participating in A2Z Blogging Challenge this April and this post is my entry for letter H.