Disclaimer: I respect single Moms / single Dads and hats off to them for managing it all singlehandedly. I do not mean to hurt their sentiments, and I apologize if inadvertently I may have written something.
A typical Indian patriarchal family scenario.
Father goes to work. Mother too goes to work. Father has his way in the lifestyle he wants. Mother struggles from the moment she wakes up to the time sleep tries to steal her from her present scenario to the land of nothingness.
Parenting is a teamwork. There is an old African proverb “It takes entire village to raise the child.” A child is influenced and shaped by the entire society but the two people who play an important role in his development are his mother and father, mom and the dad. A Happy Parenting is one which involves both the mother and the father actively participating in the child’s life.
I grew up in a family where my father was the “Breadwinner” and my mother was the “Homemaker.” They taught me to be an economically independent girl. In my growing years, I would see working females and would wonder how they managed both the fronts?
I didn’t have to wonder for long! As I entered motherhood, in the struggling years of a medicos life, I found my husband missing from the scene trying to provide us with the much needed financial stability.
My son still a toddler and later in kindergarten years would look forward to the little time he would get. He would mimic being a famous doctor and working non stop hours and my heart would whine over the preaching I could do nothing about. His Dad would indulge him to cover up for the time lag. This continued till he started his primary school, when we both realised we needed more quality time than the indulgences.
Last to last year, when watching the movie “Chef” my son slowly whispered in my ear,”Wasn’t Papa like this ( Saif Ali Khan’s character ) when I was small.” I sighed and realised that he was true, and like in Chef, the Father – son bonding started when my husband realised that he needed to give us time and moved to better working hours. Today, they both bond over sports, movies, fashion and obviously irritating me and then loving me. We now have cricket / football game on sunny days. Power show, with the father son wrestling anytime, though it destroys my organized house.
This really has made a change in his growing years. Till that time, his thinking was concentrated on earning money. Now, seeing this side of his father who shares kitchen space as well as sits for him, he’s coming to realize the unspoken gender equality. Both sexes are meant to do everything in a family.
Mother is the comfort, While father is the strength. A mother always warns, while father would silently nod and ask to plunge ahead. Mother would dry the tears, while father would laugh over them. And that balance of both is what parenting is all about. None is complete without the other.
While a mother is every child’s first love, a father is his first hero. Be that role model your son would aspire to be, and your daughter would want to marry. Sons always go after the fathers. If a man respects his woman, loves his children, is an active partner at the home front, the son would carry that legacy ahead and a daughter would expect the same from her husband. Father is not just the bank balance, but the assurance that I will be there to hold you if you fall.
I am participating in A2Z Challenge this April and this is my post for letter D.