As we grow up, we forget how it is to be a child. Simple things which we adults manage do, is a challenge for kids. While we may easily manage how we behave or react towards situations which are unavoidable, a child does not at times know how to conduct.
He is not a small man or a mini you. He is his own persona who is slowly discovering new things about himself, his parents, and the big world. He will make mistakes and he will learn. But if we try to control that behaviour, we will reach no where. The only goal in parenting should be to love and support your child unconditionally.
A child who frequently wets his bed does not need a screaming. He needs to be praised each night he is able to control. The more we would be critical of him, the more difficult days and nights would be for him.
Every human being, every child has a basic need of feeling loved, and when they know they are loved, they are trusted, and that their parents believe in them, not only will they grow up as excellent human beings but they will go long way in spreading love in this world full of hatred.
If a child is constantly being reprimanded over something he fails to comply, not only will it be counterproductive, but this is also going to give him a low self esteem and create more behavioural issues than solve it.
There is a reason why a child behaves a certain way. So we must try to understand what is the reason behind his actions.
Everytime my son would make a mistake, which was serious enough he would just simply cook up a story.
Like one time, he lost his specs. His glasses power had just increased and this was a new prized branded spectacles that he had picked up. He went down to play. He was not wearing it and it slipped from his pocket and he didn’t even realize when he lost. He came home, searched for his old glasses and silently wore it even before I could notice. I didn’t know that till next morning while sending to school, I could not find the new ones. He made me search “n” number of places. How would they be found, they were not lost in home? Anyway, we urgently got another. In the evening, I sat down with him and asked why he did not tell me the day before. His reply was, “My mind works this way, that escape the situation for now. ” We went back to our previous episodes and tried to analyze whether we had been too critical when he made a mistake. Yes, at times it had been, though not always. After that episode, I started calming myself to count of 10 before responding to any such stress. And believe me, it actually helped.
Children are like monkeys. They may not always comply to what we say, but whatever they might be busy poking their heads in, one eye and ear will always be directed towards you. They will listen to whatever we say, and will constantly be watching us. Hence, the best behaviour would be to set an example for them, which they look upto, and that they would love to imitate.
Parenting is not about discipling the child or teaching him the correct behaviour. It is all about how we control our behaviour, and set a way that he looks forward to follow.
This post is written as a part of A2Z Blogging challenge, 2019.
This year my theme is parenting where I will share what I have learned in my journey of parenting till now.