Relationships and Trust

Have you ever lost someone’s trust? Someone who really means a lot to you, but you let them down? What did you do in that case to win it back?

Trust they say takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.

One of my friends broke his wife’s trust in the worst possible way. Their marriage was on a rocky path, and rather than trying to solve the issues, he went ahead and had an extramarital affair. However, his wife found out, and that’s when they both realised that they still loved each other and wanted to give each other a chance.

The husband's dilemma was How do I gain her trust back?

The wife's situation was How can I trust him again?

Being a common friend, I was pulled in both the directions. I did a lots of research and this is what I advised them both.

1. Healthy and Open communication : What has been done, cannot be done. They both have to start again, a new relationship, where they are open with each other about their feelings. The husband especially in this case, was advised to start sharing everything including where he spend his time, if he did not come home in time, and constantly reassure the wife. He also shared all his passwords, finances, social profiles.
2. Stay in Present : It is easy for the wife to keep thinking about the past. Her anger, her apprehensions are justified. But sooner or later she has to start and focus on present. She has to Let go, not for anyone but for herself. She has to find peace and shut off that chapter. Learn the lesson and move on.
3. Trust your own Instincts : There is nothing the wife could have done to stop the affair, as cheating is done by choice, not by chance. Her confidence was shattered. However, finally she has to start trusting herself again.

Trust is a glue that holds relationships. It allows you to feel safe in the relationships. Try not to break the trust of your loved ones.