The coming days passed like a jiffy. Sneha was not aware of day or the night. She didn’t know who came in and who left. All she heard was the voice in her head, and those sounds of wailing. What she hated were those smiles which everyone would hide once she passed. She didn’t shed a tear. It was like the river had long dried up and even with the rains it could no longer swell.
She didn’t want all those surrounding her gaze her with sympathy. She wanted to run away from those rituals. All she remembered was that morning when Sam had left. May be she should have got up and kissed him one last time. May be she should have thrown a tantrum and not let him go. May be she should have soaked herself in that last embrace. She had been stuck with that and no matter what anyone said she could not bring herself in the present.
The walls no longer reverberated with her laughter. Her little ones no longer saw her smiling. As they say its easy for the one who leaves. It’s tougher for the ones left behind. We all lead lives building and dreaming about tomorrow. But does the tomorrow ever shape up the way we dream. The next vacation, the next celebration, the next weekend, the next stop…and in the pursuit of that next, we forget to celebrate now!
Sam didn’t even live to realise that, but Sneha felt the pinch every time she stared into nothingness. There was no Sam now to hold her, to comfort her and she had to accept that she would have to hold her own. Time, they say heals everything. One day just like that you stop waiting, you get tired of those thoughts, that sadness and whether you want or not you leave all that behind. That time had still not come for Sneha.
One day, many mornings later the doorbell rang. No one visited them these days. The kids had already left for school and Sneha ignored the call bell considering it would be some salesman. She had to get up when she heard it third time. May be this salesman was persistent. After many days, a smile crossed her lips.
She dragged herself to the door and peeped out to see a beautiful girl dressed in black.
“Hi! I am Sana. And I guess you are Sneha?” She walked in and Sneha just kept staring at her.
“Do I know you?” She stammered, stunned by her confidence.
“No! you don’t.” She said and then paused before adding. “But I do know you. Have known you for almost an year.”
Sneha waited for her to add, not knowing what to say.
“I was Sam’s mistress, girlfriend, side chick, or whatever ugly name you have to call me, you can. I would envy you because it was you he came back to each night. I cried alone while you had him to cry on, so I would wish you cry alone, but I had never wished all this.”
Sneha felt her legs go weak. She simply stared at Sana’s face. Which news was worse? This or the one she had heard months back. They both sat in silence. Was it the lull before the storm or the aftermath of it?
Read the Part 1 https://thevagabond.me/2018/10/08/that-morning/