Sophie … the girl who came in our life, and left it in shambles.
I don’t know if I would ever be able to do justice to her characterisation. My opinion for her would always be flawed, even though she might be a good person, and maybe she might have made a bad mistake just like Akash.
I would glorify Akash, because I love him and I would always give myself excuses as to why he did that. The same won’t be true for her, because even though I know it’s two to tango, but it will be always easy for me to blame her. I do sincerely wish that someday I am able to forget her and move on. Time they say, is a great healer and I will wait for time to fill my heart with love for everyone, even her.
All I knew about Sophie was the titbits I had heard from Akash.His description was that she was a complicated girl. I had tried to gather a little information from her social profiles. She seemed to be a happy fun loving girl.
I had been in touch with her briefly after that chance discovery of that affair. She had confused me more at that time.
She had said, she had never meant to do what happened, and she had said “Sorry.”
“Sorry”, I feel is a misused word. If the people who say it really mean it, do they ever try to help that person heal. She knew she never would. I knew she never could, so her sorry had meant nothing to me. If she had been really sorry, as a person she should have at least let me fit in the jigsaw puzzle that my life had become, which she didn’t. May be she was sorry, she could not replace me. May be it was a genuine mistake, I do not believe it till date.
She was not very happy to communicate. I guess she was irritated, and she had blocked me off.
She had said that she was not the only one, but she had no other names/ proofs to give me. I didn’t believe her, because she was the only one whose photos dominated his mails.
What I felt baffling was that at one end she had recorded conversations and messaged me, while on the other side, she still went for night outs. May be at that time, she had felt that I would read the message and divorce him. I sincerely do not understand till date.
Another confounding observation was that, it was an on-off thing.
They had started dating in August 2012, when they would go for coffee, dinners and movies.
One evening may be in late September, she was upset and she wanted to drink. So, they had gone for drinks, not to a restaurant but had taken a room. That was the night, Akash had said his first lie, that conference was delayed.
After that, they had gone for two planned night outs. I did have hotel receipts with me now to match the dates. Then, she had disappeared for two months, during which time she had I unfriended him and he had no idea where she was.
Three months after, she had again landed in city. This time she had again called Akash. Night outs had started again. This went on for May be 5/6 months.
It was in the mid of these months, precisely in April 2013 she had tried to contact me by sending that message, which God didn’t want me to see.
Later I had found a much longer recorded conversation dated May 2013 in Akash mail. It was clear from that recording, that cracks had started appearing in their relationship, and Sophie had started feeling guilty.
After August 2013, I did not find anything else in his mail. Her father had died due to a chronic illness in December 2013 and she had asked Akash to book air tickets for her to go home. He had booked tickets for her. Akash said that she had contacted once more after that to discuss family problems.
I don’t know if they contacted each other again, but in the coming year we had left the city, and probably she never came back to that city.
Now we are continents apart, but still at times I do keep a track of her on Instagram and Facebook. After all, how can you forget someone who rocked your world.
I do not have a grudge against her, and I am not the kinds who will wish her bad, but still I wish one day I will be able to forget her.
NOTE : I am participating in #AtoZChallenge2018 and this post is my entry for letter S.