Sophie is back. I do not know what to think or what to say? Akash has left the decision to me. I do not know much about her except the image I have formed in my mind.
Akash just says she was a complicated girl. She was with him for fun. She knew about me from Day 1, but later she had started feeling guilty.
My mind goes back to that day an year ago when I had found that message, sent to me years ago.
When I think, I know nothing could have prepared me for the day that was in store for me.
Another routine working day it had been and it would have been a routine, had I not dug up my closets. I had no premonitions that this would be the turning point in my life. No cats, forget about a black cat ! crossed my path Neither did my eye twitch, nor milk fell down.
The sky was its usual blue. No thunders, No celestial announcements! Nothing that I would have thought as a warning. I had left home for work on right time. My boss didn’t call for me the entire day. Neither did anything unusual happen.
So, why had I decided to rid my messenger of the message requests. I could have better spent my time emptying my mind of the useless thoughts, or removing toxic people from my life.
Even better, my cupboards needed cleaning, so did my house. Yet I choose to start with my facebook messenger, not even my mail.
It is so surprising over the years, we humans accumulate so much of unnecessary egos, negative thoughts, negative people. An excess baggage of all sort as we age ! yet we never bother to do that cleaning in our lives.
If you have seen a female’s wardrobe, it will be always bursting with clothes, yet she will never find one to wear. There will always be so much junk in house, yet we would never part with the goods we lovingly brought once.
May be we are afraid of change. We let life be as it is, without even a single change. We become so comfortable in that routine, that we never notice that we even stop living and the breaths and the heartbeats continue their counts until the nature leads the way.
So was me, leading the life as a successful working woman. Juggling my life as a manager in a multinational, wife of a charming intelligent fun loving husband and mother to a cute chirpy son. I was happy with my pay package. Though, I was happy not working as well. Even though, I would keep cribbing about my extended work hours, little help in household work, still I was happy with the tag of superwoman.
I still do not know what conspired that day, and I opened facebook messenger app on my smartphone. I had just reached home after work and was relaxing with a cup of coffee. A few days before I had noticed a new feature on this app. When you click on people, there is a folder Message requests. Anyone who is not on facebook can send you a message on messenger but they get hidden in that folder.
That day, I came across a message sent to me 4 years back by a female who knew me, yet I had never heard of her.
What I read made me go numb. This cannot happen to me. This is someone who’s just trying to settle an old score. My Husband is not capable of doing this. There is something wrong somewhere. Who is this girl? Why did she even message me? If she was so concerned, why could she not call me up, or send a friend request and warn me.
Nothing made sense. My perfect world got shattered and I did not know what to do.
I was always in awe of my husband. He was all what I could not become. I was so proud of his academic and professional achievements.
It never mattered to me that I was left behind. I was happy that I was earning enough to take care of my requirements, even spend lavishly at times, and I had the most adorable kid ever.
Yet, the husband whom I had placed on pedestal, was not what I had thought. I could not believe what all was in that message. She had sent an audio clip as well. I heard that audio clip again and then realised it was him only.
I did not know that day whether I would survive or not. It felt like someone had sucked all the air from around me. I felt a heaviness in my chest. Tears rolled down my eyes, and I could do nothing to stop them. Nothing made sense to me that day and my perfect world was shattered.
My husband whom I not just adored and loved but also worshipped, my best friend had betrayed me and I did not know what to do. I wanted the earth to swallow me. I did not want to be in that home. “Home” the word itself had seemed hollow.
That had been the day I had known Sophie for first time. Why has she come knocking at my door again ?
Tell me Neha, what should I do ?
NOTE : I am participating in #AtoZChallenge2018 and this post is my entry for letter P.