I am the one who should have been punished, but instead you are the one who suffers every time. I do not know what to believe in anymore. I have not left this room ever since they brought you hear. Seeing you so weak and in pain, I am thinking of the memories we created together.
Remember, our first trip together to Goa. You were always the one who would hold the ropes tight for me. You were of the opinion, that we should not go, as it would be unnecessary expense. Since now we were married, you didn’t want to burden anyone for our college fees. I had forced you into coming. My logic was we get married only once, so how can we miss our honeymoon, also I did not want to give you a reason later, that you never took me on honeymoon.
Leaves were a problem. Still, we had managed to somehow take out 3 days from that busy schedule. I remember how excited we both were.
You were afraid of going out in waves, about getting wet, and how you had clung to me tightly, holding onto me, so that the waves could not take you away from me.Do you remember, what you would do when a high wave would come. You would hold me and not let me go, and after the wave would pass by, you would loosen your grip.
Neha, Life is like a sea. It won’t be easy going always. Sometimes, it would be calm, and sometimes rough, just like the sea. Take this time of our life as that high tide. If we stick together now, the waves will never be able to break us.
I know, if I you would be reading this now, you would smile and say, “Mr Akash, do not preach me philosophy, be practical.”
And I would smile back, and say, “Mrs Akash, you are the one who’s stuck in philosophy.”
I know I am the one who threw in the rough sea, but I am the one who’s giving you a hand now. But Neha, It is you who has to make that choice, whether to drown in that rough sea, or wade your way alone or hold my hand and find a way out together.
Remember, what we had done later that day. We sat by the seaside, and made our own castle. Later, we had drawn a big heart and had written each other’s name inside. Sometime later, a big wave had come crashing on our castle, dissolving it all back in sea.
What did we do then? Did we both sit and cry? No, we had started again.
Either we can look backwards, and would later regret even this time, because time would never wait for someone. Or we can start to build again.
Neha, Punish me if you want. Go away from me, if that’s what will bring you peace. I know, my face reminds you of the person I had become. But whatever life you choose, with me or without me, do it with all your effort. You want to stay in rough sea, but you don’t want to face the harsh wave. That is not possible, my sweetheart.
I am with you in whatever decision you make. But, it is ultimately you who has to stay strong.
Trust me Neha, you are much stronger than you think. Move on with your life, Neha.
Note: I am participating in #AtoZchallenge and this blog is my entry for letter J.