Now or Never 

Never postpone what you want to do today for tomorrow. For what tomorrow will bring might not be what you wanted to do today.
If you love someone, tell them today.For tomorrow they may not be there to listen to you.

The little kid will not be little ever. He needs your time now.He will grow up soon and then you will regret over the lost years.

Your parents are old. They need your love and care now.For tomorrow they may or may not be.

Each second past is gone for ever. Don’t be sure about even your next second for you may or may not be there.

Cherish every kiss,Rejoice in every moment,Never keep the burden of misunderstandings,For you never know whether next moment may or may not be.

Live in today, work hard, give everything your best, but still take time for self and loved ones, coz even the next second may or may not be. 

PINK

jeene-de-mujhe-mp3-song-pink-movie

This weekend, I finally saw PINK, a Brilliant movie by Director Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury.

As with all movies of this genre, the thoughts linger in your mind much longer.

The movie questions our orthodox upbringing and is a mirror of what’s wrong with our

patriarchal mindset.

THE PLOT 

The movie is about 3 young independent modern women who are good friends ans flatmates in Delhi. An untoward incident at a resort in Surajkund, involving boys who are politically well connected changes their life forever.

What follows is an gripping courtroom drama which takes a dig at the contemporary society and the prejudices women face.

THE FEUDAL MINDSET

The film depicts the feudal mindset which we inherit.

As a kid, I remember hearing statements like

” Don’t have a boyfriend..it’s the girl’s life which gets spoiled”

” Girls from good Family …don’t drink”

” She is responsible for what happened, look at the clothes she wears”

Though we have come a long way from women being confined to the walls, to women working at the same place as men..but still we judge woman by the same old standards.

A woman who has male friends is cheap, whilst a man will be called Stud or cool.

A girl who drinks is a good girlfriend material, but not good to be a wife.

What you wear, decides your character. A girl with a suit and dupatta is a good girl, while one who wears skirts and jeans is of questionable character. Infact, she is inviting the boys.

A girl can work late, but if she parties late …she is not a good girl. Though the same never applies for boys.

THE IMPACT

This basic mindset needs to be changed. One does not become modern just by wearing jeans. We have to broaden our outlook. True gender equality is still a long way.

If drinking or smoking is bad, its for all. Don’t judge only your girls..judge your boys too for same.

Let a person decide what he or she is comfortable wearing. In case we are uncomfortable with bare skin, it should be for both…no shorts even for boys.

Physical relationship should be based on mutual consent and a ” no” by either should be respected.

Rather than blaming girls..we should teach our boys to respect girls, but that will only happen when each of the one responsible for upbringing, ponders and accepts the hypocrisy and changes himself/herself.

 

 

सरहद 

सरहद के उस पार भी एक गाँव है

जहाँ कुछ तेरे जैसे,

जहाँ कुछ मेरे जैसे लोग बसे हैं!

सरहद के उस पार भी ऐसी ही मिट्टी है

सरहद के उस पार भी यही हवा, यही पानी है !

सरहद के उस पार भी कुछ परिवार हैं

वही सपने , वही ग़म, वही ख़ुशियाँ है !

सरहद के उस पार भी छोटे छोटे बच्चे हैं

जिनकी आँखों में बड़े बड़े सपने हैं!

सरहद के उस पर भी दिलों में कुछ अरमान है ।

सरहद के उस पार भी एक माँ एक बाप  है ।
सरहद के उस पर एक गाँव में आग लगी है।

वो आग अभी भी बुझी नहीं है ।

कुछ परिवार बिखर गये हैं !

कुछ सपने टूट गए हैं !

कब से वो छोटा बच्चा सोया नहीं है!

एक माँ की आँखे सुनी हैं !

एक बीवी के आँसू थमे नहीं है!
सरहद के उस पार अब चन्द मकान है !

ना सपने है , ना दर्द हैं!

बस सन्नाटा ही सन्नाटा है!
क्या तुझे मिला , क्या मुझे मिला !

एक ज़मीन का टुकड़ा !

चन्द सिके जो ऊपर भी ना ले जा पायेगा!
सरहद के इस पार भी ऐसा ही गाँव है ।

Smartphones & Relationships : A Bane or a Boon.

Together

Turn your neck around, and you see people with their necks flexed, typing into their smartphones!

technologyis
Source : Phys.org
Go to a restaurant, you will find people glued to their mobile screens rather than conversing!

Kids as small as age 1, will cry for the I pads rather than anything else!

Our generation has definitely become a slave to the technology.

n-using-smartphone-628x314
Source : http://www.huffingtonpost.com
15 years back, when I had graduated from Medical school, the first mobile phone was from the hard earned meagrely stipend. Today my son, demands a smartphone that too best in the market when he will be in Class 9.

Possibly ours was the last generation who knew how to enjoy without the smartphones. Though, slowly it seems we too are losing the grasp.

Gone are the days of beautiful handwritten  letters, Archies greeting cards, roses and teddy bears. If today someone has to propose, he/she will do it on What’s app or FACEBOOK. Someone rightly suggested, Had this been Pre Independence Era…People would just post a message saying Share it so much that It reaches Brits and they leave India.

This sharing  and forwarding business is so rampant that people don’t even check the authenticity of what they share. Most hilarious of all is the one concerning Bhagat Singh’s Hanging and 14th Feb. Each year right before the Valentine, so called secular patriots will bombard What’s App and FB with those messages.

Jokes Apart, It’s disheartening to see all in a family sitting together with their mini computers in hand  and a pin drop silence broken only by a video played by somebody.

When orkut and facebook were launched in 2004, it was a breakthrough. We could meet online friends we had lost in the course of growing up. But still at that time, you had to log in to your computer and because of high rates, slow internet speeds..everything was still in limits. But then came the touchscreens and with them the facebook mobile and what’s app which became popular by 2011- 12 and that has brought its own sets of worries.

While we could converse and be in touch with our distant cousins, long lost friends, what disappeared from our lives has been the intimacy and close conversations with the very people we share our lives with.

22turkle-web-jumbo
Source : http://www.nytimes.com
I could never understand why the mobile phone was the first thing my husband wanted to check in the morning. Ever since my dad got his laptop, my mother cannot understand why he has to play candy crush every few hours. Possibly this is what is Mobile addiction.  You go to malls and find kids as small as 9 months hooked in their prams to the Ipad screens. Probably I pad is the first word they learn these days.

Among many of the couples, when one of the spouses gets hooked to his mobile phone, the other feels neglected. At times a situation like ” Please keep your phone down and talk to me” comes. There are couples who feel more comfortable chatting to each other rather than talking face to face. All this is a red signal, an alarming situation which need immediate attention. For a couple face to face talk and physical touch is very essential. For growing up Kids, they will be much more complete beings if we spend time with them rather than the smartphones.

It’s time to ponder whether we want to use smartphones or smartphones use us.

Whether we want to stay alone with our smartphones or together in a family!

alongtogetherbookcover-781x1170
Source : Alone together, A wonderful  book by Sherry Turkle.

 

 

 

 

 

Discover Challenge: Here and Now

via Discover Challenge: Here and Now

The most difficult part is living in the present. All of us want to live in the world of dreams and illusions, for the very simple reason that it seems so enthralling, so beautiful. The future always seems so promising. It is like a fresh canvas, on which we can paint whatever we want.

The present always seems boring, the same tandem repeat of events from getting up in the morning, going to work, finishing your daily chores and signing the day off. Each week day goes in the waiting of a future weekend which comes and brings in a fresh week. Yet, we never look at those week days as a fresh canvas. Probably, most of us are bored by the monotony. Some of us don’t like where we are stuck, may be in relations or at workplace.

However, even a small break, one weekend or a vacation brings life to the withered flowers.  The memories we form in those times cloud our mind and keep going till the next one. And this becomes a vicious cycle.

However for some, even the memories are painful, and living in present is a uphill task for them.

All spiritual leaders stress on the importance of being and living in the present. What does meditation do? It brings you back to the present. Now the question is If being in present is so important, what can we do ?

Right from the childhood, teach your kids to be content and happy in what they are doing. Let them choose a profession according to their abilities and according to what makes them happy and not what is the rat race and what will fetch them millions.

For those of us who are stuck….if you can change … change it now … or start a search to what stimulates you mentally and emotionally. If you are stuck in a bad job, a bad career choice, Move on. If you Can’t, find something that will motivate you and keep you going.If you are stuck in a bad relation, try to reform it. Find why it is bad and change it. Find time for yourself, cultivate a hobby.

Erase the painful memories. Forgive where you can. Forget where u cant. A little dementia won’t do you any harm.

If you can’t make yourself happy…you can’t make anyone else. So start living in the present, and find little things which motivate you.

My list is here

  1. My family
  2. Music
  3. Writing
  4. walking

I am still searching more.

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