The pursuit of Happiness 

All of us want to be happy. We try to search happiness in Iphones, costly gadgets, what’s app messages, facebook posts. We try to look for it in our spouses, children and parents. We try to seek solace in our work, in the food we eat, in the television channels we follow.

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We keep looking for it, giving us familiar excuses. Next salary hike or a better job willmake me happy. Wives keep grumbling that their husbands attention will make them happy. Husbands keep wishing that a sexier wife will make them happy. Old parents keep wishing that had they a better child, they would be happy…And happiness keep eluding.

When we are small, little things make us happy. Getting wet in water, rain, seeing butterflies, making paper boats…and so on.

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But in the quest of growing up we lose our innocence and so also our happiness. We forget those little things and keep searching for bigger, better and in the end remain unhappy.

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We forget that happiness is not a conquest…it is a journey ….it is there in each moment of our life waiting for us to embrace ourselves. Noone can make us happy unless we choose ourselves to be… and the reciprocal is true as well. No one can make us unhappy.. unless we decide to be.

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Happiness lies within each of us. All we have to do is rid our mind of the useless clutter.All we have to do is bring alive the child within us.

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Life Now and Then 

I grew up in a small sleepy mountain town. The day would begin early and would end as soon as the sun would set. If someone was not home by 6:00 pm, it would be a alarming situation. Everyone in the town knew everyone else, and every news would spread like fire. 

The elders in the town had only one mission to compare who among the kids got highest in the boards, and who among them was selected in professional courses. Those who could finish their studies and go and settle in big cities were successful and others who couldn’t were considered mediocres.

Winters would be fun, with everyone sitting outside their homes in sun, and munching on peanuts. Life was such an easy go thing. 

All I had ever dreamt of was becoming a teacher in my local college, drive a car and come home before 5 each day. I had never known how to gossip, books were my only friends. I knew not how to make a cup of tea or roll a round chappati. Niether I knew how to fake a feeling. Life had been so simple then, no complicated feelings, no burden of expectations. 

Life is so complicated now,  day starts earlier than it was in my little town but ends later than 10. I remember my elders. telling me that an evening prayer meant thanking God for the day and that no one should be out after the evening prayer. But in this part of world, all this is superstition. People work all day and night to buy their dream homes where they just go to sleep. Having kids is just a social responsibility.. Coz no one has time to raise them .. Either maids or grandparents can raise them up. I can never reach home before 5. Neither can i drive my car, traffic jams and high speed make me mad. Only some days in a week she can I make a round chappati .. Rest of the days I just ignore. Even in winters there is no time for peanuts or sun.

Somedays I wish I can be nobody. That I can run back to my little town where I can bask in sunshine, enjoy those peanuts, where no one would judge me for my uneven rotis. Someday … Yes someday. 

But there are ties.. Are they actual or just in my mind .. A small town girl who cannot adjust to the big city life. 

Yes it is my own  indecision. I had wished a simple life and I am into a high end urban life.. Busy neighbours .. No real friends .. And performance in society is the only thing that matters.

Well all that is one face of the corporate life we all deal with. The other face of this life is our sweet families to whom we yearn to come back daily, for whom we keep burning ourselves so that they can sleep without any tensions.  

But is it really ok to go to those extremes. No, I feel. A balance is a must so that we do not burn out ourselves, give adequate time to ourselves the foremost and our family as well.

The steps I took to relieve myself were 

1. Develop a hobby and give it time. 

2. Spend sometime alone, atleast one hour in a week. 

3. Take a break. Go on vacation with your family where you are in limited touch with all the hotspots and Wifi. 

I am just back from one such vacation and completely refreshed to share my tips. 

Life is actually simple and it is our thoughts which complicate it. So, give yourself a break from whatever troubles you. And you will be back with a bang. 
Good bye till my next post ! 

Who am I and why am I here?

My love with writing began when I was in school. I used to pen down my feelings in poems whenever I could. Then I joined a medical school and the course of becoming a doctor, a wife and a mom took me away from this.

A year back while driving back home, I had a few thoughts in my mind which I immediately wrote and let my friends read it. Thus started my journey with blogging.

Through my writing I want to share my feelings, my little stories, and my view point of the world as I perceive it.

I feel working moms all over have similar problems, and through my blog I want to share how we can overcome those. Blogging gives me a sense of achievement, an accomplishment that somewhere someone reading this might feel a little lighter.

My experiments with Weight loss

Once fat, Always fat.

So was me. “Fat” I had always been, as long as I could remember. Would come last in the race in PE classes, had a beautiful face but being obese would give me that mature look that would prompt people to ask ” Are you studying in college? ” and I would politely say I am just in Grade 10. And my mom would say as in all Punjabi households .. कोई नी पुत्तर, खाते पिते घर का बच्चा है! नज़र ना लगाओ !


So it went on for years, even got married, much to the horror of my In law family that how could their good looking son choose such a fat girl. His bad luck or mine good! May be only God knows.

And then pregnancy added another graceful kilos. At times ill fitting clothes would sent me to reduce my night time meal and I would keep struggling to get a few kilos down and which in no time would come back again.So it went ..

Till precisely 11 months back .. A weight loss bug bit my husband. He enrolled in a gym and started being cautious about what would enter his mouth. How could I remain aloof . Well to make it simple .. I had more grilling schedule. And as in all Indian families the sole responsibility of my son before and after office work, I could not hit gym.


But competition .. That’s the only drive in today’s world.. So I started adding kilometres and steps to my IPhone. Alas! For a Punjabi girl in love with all good food in the world .. Sweets to be more specific .. How much would it help.

Friends suggested The famous Gm diet .. Oh how can one be without carbs .. I tried for a day .. gave it up mid afternoon.

Another day didn’t eat the whole day only to end up eating a big doughnut and a Macdonald burger at night.

In today’s world all the answers are Internet .. So came the numerous apps on mobile.. Edmondo tracker .. My fitness pal .. And then weight loss books on my kindle

But still weight loss eluded me.

By then I was about to give up .. But somehow good sense prevailed ..

1. I continued tracking my steps.

2. I carried n number of small tiffins to work to eat a fruit or a vegetable 2 hourly.

3. Reduced my carb intake .. Though not drastically.

4. Increased my protein intake

And with the initial loss of 3 -4 kgs came the renewed self confidence. Yes ! I can do it.

Today Almost 11 kgs lighter.. I feel young at heart.

Though when even 1 kgs slips up, I get tense again. But the journey has been worthwhile.

And it all lies in your mind.. Lose fat in your mind .. You will start losing it everywhere.

Why I will never advise anyone to be a doctor mom again? 

It’s Saturday today, and unlike many other professions, I never get 5 days a week. Might seem as a trivial reason to many but ask a mom who isn’t supermom and who just keeps trying to balance her work and her home, this will come as a major jolt once u have kids who need as much time and understanding as any other job u handle.

Well jokes apart..Medicine today is a thankless field ..not the glorified version we grew up thinking.

Any doctor reading this won’t deny that medicine is an imperfect field. Though there may have been leaps and bounds in cancer treatment of a particular cancer , but still a common cold drives even specialised doctors crazy. Wait and watch.. But how can you when your child is running high grade fever…and your elders hound you with what kind of doctor you are? Can’t u treat your own kid?

Out of 168 hours, your child depending on his schedule will spend approx 70 hours sleeping, another 70 hrs in school and transportation. That leaves with a working mom, only 28 hours per week, to teach him values, morals, make him study, play with him. I don’t find this exciting enough. These 28 hours I might be on duty, in the kitchen, or might be juggling my other responsibilities as a homemaker.

The guilt of spending less time with your kid would let u indulge him in his favourite food, toys, books… In the nutshell overindulge him. And the guilt of spending less time with one kid might push you towards not having another. So, you land with one overindulgent spoilt brat. And anything to do with his behaviour, studies.. You and you will be solely responsible.

The stress of dealing with diseases, patients psychology and in the current era of corporates, the management with the answers to revenue you generate has made medicine lousiest of all professions. In today’s scenario, you are always worried about your job, what might land you in a lawsuit makes the prime years of life gloomy. To add it to the stress of parenting, being a daughter and a daughter in law .. Not to forget the husband.. Makes you ponder wasn’t it better all alone?