The Vagabond

My son is 7.5 now, but still, whenever I think about those days, I still get jitters.

The day u marry, you are supposed to procreate or else Relatives won’t even mind asking Do you know how to do? ( though it is a taboo) ��. I waited for my doctorate to complete before I took in the plunge, so I had all possible sorts of reaction from everywhere. And If I would say I’m still not ready. I would be thought of as an Alien����.

Once the Good news chips in, there comes the other set of advice.

One particular I remember is Drinking Juice. I had much trouble keeping in what I ate so I would stick to eating fruits. But my in-laws family felt juice is the only nutrition … ��How could I make them understand juice is made from the same fruit. So one fine day, my husband in full josh picked me from my workplace and took me to juice shop and ordered me to drink One large full glass of juice. I obliged.No sooner I reached back home, I vomited full and couldn’t have anything till next morning. So that put a full stop to my Juice saga.

I think in everyone’s pregnancy one or the other eclipse comes to add to all the other problems. I was in my 3rd trimester when the same happened with me. And what a timing it had… The time office ends. How don’t u go out? Being a doctor .. I’m a little more cynical about these things. I fully remember it was just a lunar eclipse. As always after much convincing, I was allowed to come back home .. And after that had to take a rigorous bath and donate the clothes I was wearing.

To add to my worries, my Blood pressure kept shooting up in last trimester .. Giving me severe headaches, frequent visits to my gynaec .. And I was thought of as lazy, not willing to work, how will she care for newborn? Etc etc.

Their kids had been born healthy without so many visits to the doctor, and I could not explain why I needed one.

“So many ultrasounds will have a bad impact on baby!

Lol! I did not know what to do?

Ah to add the icing to the cake, my doctor told coz of the worsening BP we will have to deliver the baby prematurely. As it was getting dangerous to keep it inside. So my baby came into this world 1 month prior to his expected schedule .. And that too by Caesarean section, and on the day of another eclipse. And was underweight only 1.9 kgs

Couldn’t have asked for more… It was all my fault. I ate wrong in pregnancy .. I didn’t keep inside in eclipse. I got too many ultrasounds….

Could I have had just peace of mind wouldn’t it be better?

Now comes the Postpartum .. Where the only person wrong is the mother who has brought that baby.

So it was with me. I had postpartum depression . But all I had was scornful eyes and comments coz I needed my mother by my side.

My milk was bad

My everything was wrong

Today when I look back I laugh at many things.  But what I strongly feel is that this is a time when a woman needs love … At least her husband can understand and be by her side … But Indian families have to still come a long way

I decided never to have another baby again … But I sincerely pray that the sooner we realise what we owe to the one who brings life to the world better it is.